Monday, February 28, 2005
Well this sucked.... I've made it through my first week of not smoking, but I woke up this morning with cravings that are worse than day 1. WTH? Why am I freakin out like this? You'd think that these would go away... Not sit here and eat at me and drive me nuts. Anyway... Hope everybody had a good weekend. I did... Went to the doctor Friday about my BP... He says to monitor it every day for the next 6 weeks and then come back... It wasn't too high... looks like the things I've cut out is doing me some good. I guess we'll see.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Friday, February 25, 2005
Yesterday, I threw out the last couple of cigarettes I had... so no more waking up and smoking. So today I've been completely smoke free. Woohooooo! But I'm feeling pretty crappy anyways... So much so that I finally broke down and made a doctors appointment to go get my blood pressure checked. It's been pretty high every time I've checked it at the store and my chiropractor and my doctor have both commented on it. So we'll see what happens there. I just really hope they don't decide to draw blood... I am such a wuss when it comes to needles... I tend to pass out or get sick. Joy o joy.... Anyways... I'm glad it's Friday at least!
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Not too much to add to my quitting story... it's going same ol same ol.... I got up, smoked about a quarter of one... got disgusted by it and went on like usual.... Last night, I did end up taking off my patch and smoking about half of one. The stress level was up a bit. I really need to find some new stress relief outlet. Anyway... plodding along with my patch.... I think I'll throw away the rest of the pack i still have laying around.... might as well remove the temptation.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Day 3.... For some reason, I convince myself that I should go smoke just one cigarette when I wake up.... I'll lay in bed when I wake up and justify it, then I'll get up and go do it. As you may have guessed.... I went and smoked one this morning again. Only got thru half of it today... It was pretty gross. The other thing that was pretty disgusting this morning was the brown ball of who-knows-what that I hacked up this morning... What is that crap that's in my lungs???? I am a non-smoker. Yesterday went really well... I even had a bit of stress and didn't go smoke or freak out too bad because I didn't have one. Today hasn't been too bad either. Sure... I'll sit here and think that it would be so much easier just to keep smoking, but I don't think I want to do that. Today, I get my daughter after school and let her know that I quit. She will be thrilled! She asked us to quit for her birthday this year.,.. said that's all she wanted. That in itself was my inspiration to go thru with it- How could you say no to such a request from such an angel? Anyway... My nephew moved out yesterday and I am now planning on building an N-scale empire in the room he just vacated. This will give me something to do to keep me occupied and give me something to do with the money I am now saving. Wish me luck on continued success!
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Well... I made it through day 1 without killing anybody. I did not smoke at all yesterday except the one I had at 5am. This morning, I woke up and did the same thing.... stepped outside and smoked one. Damn- that tasted nasty.... only smoked about 3/4 of it and wondered why I even bothered. If only every cigarette tasted that bad.... I'd never bother again. So I slapped on a new patch after my shower- I can still taste that cigarette even after brushing my teeth, Listerine, candy, etc.... Nasty taste in my mouth.... I feel much better today. I don't have the huge urge to starngle everybody yet. My only real problem is that my arm hurts from this patch I'm wearing- kinda a dull throbbing ache. I need to start dropping the money I'd spend on cigarettes in a jar- I'm about to start construction on a new train layout and will need the money to build it anyways.... maybe my smoking money can go to that. Hopefully I can stay this calm all day...
Monday, February 21, 2005
OK.... I've quit before, I've tried to quit a million times... today marks a new attempt. I woke up this morning and hopped out of bed like every day... went and grabbed a drink and went outside to smoke the first one of the day. About halfway through it I realized I was going to quit today... oops. So I finished it up and went back in to take a shower.... All cleaned up and made up my mind... that's it- I'm done with em. So I threw on a nicotine patch (I know... your not supposed to use both in the same day... yeah yeah...) and headed off for work. Driving- driving really sucks for me. The first thing I do usually when I get in the car... light up. Not today though. I took my wife to work, and then proceeded to spend the next half hour fighting Houston's highways without a cigarette... yeah... they were sitting there staring at me in the center console, but I didn't light one. I could feel them drawing me in... but I refused to be seduced by the little bastards. So I've been sitting here at work just trying to figure out how to get through the next couple of minutes. I would love to get up, rip my patch off and head out to to the smoking area.... Instead I sit here at my desk.... trying to fight the urge. I hate quitting smoking almost as much as I hate smoking. It would be easier just to keep smoking, wouldn't it? 2 packs a day is not an easy thing to walk away from.... So why am I putting myself through this Hell? Let's see... what are the good parts of smoking again? I know there's gotta be something to justify me not going through all this..... ummmmmmmm.... well... maybe not. Let's see... $2.40 a pack x 2 a day... $4.80 a day... $4.80 x 7 days... $33.60 a week... $33.60 x 52 weeks $1747.20 a year... I can use that money... Ok.. there's one point to be had for not going and lighting one up.... I promised my daughter that I'd quit before her birthday... I still have until the end of March.... But I should just go ahead and stick with this now.... No point in delaying the pain... even though I am the world's worst procrastinator. I HATE THIS! Anyway.... Let's see... I'll smell better... My wife quit last week and hasn't really wanted me around her since then. That really sucks. So that'll change again. Yeah! Health? I've already quit my Red Bull/Liquid Energy/8 Cokes a day habit... I'm down to just a couple of Cokes a day.... Figured out that my blood pressure is getting way up there (it sucks getting older) and I needed to do something. Quitting smoking will probably be better than all the rest of that combined. So maybe I'll bring the blood pressure down and avoid having to get it looked at by a Dr. (I hate doctors). Hey... I remembered a good thing about smoking... Turns out that smokers are less likely to die of carbon monoxide poisoning... they have a built up immunity. Hmmmm.... that's almost a reason.... Nahhhhhhhhh... I'll just suffer some more. Lunch time is gonna suck though... I hate not getting to smoke after I eat. Damn damn damn damn.... this sucks so badly.... I can do it though... I've done it before (quit for a whole year once even). Guess I'll quit rambling and go take a walk around the building... I gotta do something.... Wish me luck!