Quitting smoking.......

OK.... I've quit before, I've tried to quit a million times... today marks a new attempt. I woke up this morning and hopped out of bed like every day... went and grabbed a drink and went outside to smoke the first one of the day. About halfway through it I realized I was going to quit today... oops. So I finished it up and went back in to take a shower.... All cleaned up and made up my mind... that's it- I'm done with em. So I threw on a nicotine patch (I know... your not supposed to use both in the same day... yeah yeah...) and headed off for work. Driving- driving really sucks for me. The first thing I do usually when I get in the car... light up. Not today though. I took my wife to work, and then proceeded to spend the next half hour fighting Houston's highways without a cigarette... yeah... they were sitting there staring at me in the center console, but I didn't light one. I could feel them drawing me in... but I refused to be seduced by the little bastards. So I've been sitting here at work just trying to figure out how to get through the next couple of minutes. I would love to get up, rip my patch off and head out to to the smoking area.... Instead I sit here at my desk.... trying to fight the urge. I hate quitting smoking almost as much as I hate smoking. It would be easier just to keep smoking, wouldn't it? 2 packs a day is not an easy thing to walk away from.... So why am I putting myself through this Hell? Let's see... what are the good parts of smoking again? I know there's gotta be something to justify me not going through all this..... ummmmmmmm.... well... maybe not. Let's see... $2.40 a pack x 2 a day... $4.80 a day... $4.80 x 7 days... $33.60 a week... $33.60 x 52 weeks $1747.20 a year... I can use that money... Ok.. there's one point to be had for not going and lighting one up.... I promised my daughter that I'd quit before her birthday... I still have until the end of March.... But I should just go ahead and stick with this now.... No point in delaying the pain... even though I am the world's worst procrastinator. I HATE THIS! Anyway.... Let's see... I'll smell better... My wife quit last week and hasn't really wanted me around her since then. That really sucks. So that'll change again. Yeah! Health? I've already quit my Red Bull/Liquid Energy/8 Cokes a day habit... I'm down to just a couple of Cokes a day.... Figured out that my blood pressure is getting way up there (it sucks getting older) and I needed to do something. Quitting smoking will probably be better than all the rest of that combined. So maybe I'll bring the blood pressure down and avoid having to get it looked at by a Dr. (I hate doctors). Hey... I remembered a good thing about smoking... Turns out that smokers are less likely to die of carbon monoxide poisoning... they have a built up immunity. Hmmmm.... that's almost a reason.... Nahhhhhhhhh... I'll just suffer some more. Lunch time is gonna suck though... I hate not getting to smoke after I eat. Damn damn damn damn.... this sucks so badly.... I can do it though... I've done it before (quit for a whole year once even). Guess I'll quit rambling and go take a walk around the building... I gotta do something.... Wish me luck!