Tuesday, January 24, 2006

25 Signs You've Grown UP

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up." 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." 10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You take naps. 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset rather than settle, your stomach. 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. 22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. 24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. 25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh S*$# what the hell happened?" Bonus: 26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

15 comments:

Dariana said...

Just passing through to vote for you on Blog Explosion BOTB! Go win that battle, lol. :-)

Texas_Ivy10 said...

#21. we eat breakfast for dinner at least once a week. Yummy!

Otherwise, I guess I have grown up. Dammmmmmmit!

Scooter said...

On a side note, I don't know what's more disturbing that I saw The Red Hot Chili Peppers on VH1 Classic or that I was watching VH1 Classic.

Scooter McGavin's 9th Green

bozette said...

LMFAO
How true you are and funny.

Glytch said...

for me it was when I was in an apartment block elevator. I noticed the fresh grafitti on the nice shiny new elevator walls and an old lady caught my eye and we both said in soft tones, "no respect.." and I actually 'tutted'.

oh dear

on a side note, the last comment I made on a blogger today had the letters "aids" in the word verification, the one I see on this post is "tcels" T-Cells ? is that what synchronicity is?

-xtessa- said...

ROFL!!! i'm so no. 26!

Jeff said...

Damn it... you got me there... only 25 and Im on pretty much their minus one or two

phoenix said...

Oy I could throw quite a few more into that mix and yep I was #26 too!!

Mitey Mite said...

Ha! I'm older than everyone, but I found one on the list that does NOT apply.

Nukapai said...

Oh Shit, what the hell happened... for I read the entire list and winced! Waaaaaaaaaah! I'm NOT GROWN UP, I'm not, I'm not! *holds breath*

Oh crap.

Hi there, just wanted to welcome you as my new renter - look out for your blurb in the next couple of days! :)

Also, by one of those fun coincidences, we're the same age (same Chinese sign). :)

Ananke said...

Oh, my God, I'm grown up. No! NNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!! ;-)

gigotti said...

HA! I haven't grown up yet cuz I still know what time Taco Bell closes (most are 24 hours :D) But I guess I'm getting up there damnit

OldGuy said...

Ha ! I found one that doesn't apply to me. Much. Maybe a little.

Ah, screw it, they all apply.

Darkstar said...

That's funny... I just got this in my email this morning!

joshi said...

damn..why the 26th? its the most true. u should have stopped at 25.