New Viruses

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction. The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen. The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive ; with NO memory The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows