Conspiracy theory, or am I just nuts?

Ok... It's time to convince all of you I am some kind of wacko. Here's my big government conspiracy theory.... Back in the 50's or 60's or whenever they decided they should add fluoride to the drinking water supply, they convinced American's that they were doing so to prevent tooth decay. This worked, even though it has been proven that fluoride actually weakens teeth and bones.... But what they didn't tell you was that it wasn't fluoride that they were adding. You see, the government was panicked by the threat of nuclear war at the time- they were looking for a way that we could win a nuclear exchange. The solution? The cockroach! Government scientists extracted DNA form the common pest, the cockroach. They added this to our nation's water supplies hoping that the body would gradually take this DNA and give us some of the amazing survival characteristics that the roaches posses. They planned for Americans to be able to live thru the radiation and would continue to be the dominant force on the planet. Unfortunately, our enemies learned of these plans. They spent large sums of money on a massive propaganda campaign to convince American's that tap water was not safe. So called environmentalists (mostly communists) took to the streets and carried the word that our drinking water was not fit for human consumption. Thru this, bottled water was born. American's spend millions of dollars a year trying to avoid the governments attempt to try to keep them alive. In recent years, government scientists have figured out a way to get the same cockroach DNA to us via airborne dispersement... look up chem-trails sometime on Google.... there are thousands of sites wondering what these things are... you finally have your answer right here. ;)