SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA

. SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA Yay! Survivor is back! We start out seeing the 16 folks treking there way thru the jungle to Jeff.... Oops... he just said 18.... Must be time for one of them twist thingies.... I wonder if this is the one everybody already knew about.... yep sure is! So they bring out two members from the worst tribe in Survivor history.... Bobby-jon & Steph! Both teams cry about their arival.... Yaxha because they got Steph who is one of the best and most determined women ever to play, and Nakum because they got Booby-Jon, who is one of the dumbest to ever play the game... Anyway.... Jeff tells them to grab some stuff and take a hike... An 11 mile hike... thru the jungle... all to see who can win in a race to the best camp site... So off we go... And ..... yes..... Yay! We have our first major injury! Blake gets nailed in the shoulder by some thorny piece of tree.... He's down... he's in pain.... but they have a nurse on their team and she pulls out the thorns... on they go... till night falls.... Now Blake is puking cuz it hurts so bad. Both teams camp in the jungle for the night, but Yaxha gets up earlier and gets on the move.... And it almost sorta pays off... they catch up to Nakum, but then they discover that some of their folks are out of shape and can't keep up... So Nakum runs away.... At least until Booby-Jon gets cramps. Damn PMS! He can't walk.... the girls rub his legs and he has found his new strategy.... Milk this for all it's worth! Anyway... Man this hike took a lot of showtime tonight... I'm glad they are making these people work, but damn.... edit a little better folks! Eventually Nakum makes it to the campsite first. Jeff is there to tell Yaxha that they must leave... NOW... So they go row themselves across the lake.... Nakum has problems.... Blake is down and puking. Judd is down and puking Jim is down and puking Booby-Jon is so far down his eyes are rolling back in his head... He looks like the chick from the Exorcist.... They hang out at camp for a bit and build shelters and watch the guys puke a bunch and make fun of them and stuff.... Immunity challenge- They have to row row row their boat out around a buoy, then bring it back, hook it to a rope, and pull it up a hill... some will have to move logs in front of the boat so it keeps rolling, and one poor person on each tribe gets stuck with the killer task of carrying their torch all the way up to the fire pit on top.... damn... that's gotta suck.... anyway, after seeing some great falls and people getting their feet stuck under logs and all kinds of painful stuff, Yaxha finally wins, sending Nakum to Tribal Council.... At tribal council they decide to send home Jim Lynch, the 63-year-old fire department retiree because in the immunity challenge he tore his bicep... ouch..... Anyway.... first episode is done and Survivor is back! I hope they make the entire season as hard on these folks as the first episode.... After all, the game is Survivor, not vacation..... Last time I think everybody actually gained weight! Let's hope for more pain and suffering for the remaining 17 contestants!