Tonight On American Idol.....

Judges critiques... First up... Vonzell Randy - Yo yo yo Baby V! What can I say? it was a'ight for me... you started a little pitchy, but you pulled it off in the end.... Paula - WOW! I have to stand up and try not to fall down and give you a standing ovation.... Simon - I could have seen that in any brothel in Singapore... What is this, American Karaoke Idol? Next up... Anthony- Randy - Dawg! Who'd have thought you'd pull up something like that to try to sing? Are you sure you want to be here? Paula - Woooohooooo... I'm feeling my buzz now... The rainbows that came out of your ears during that performance were trippy! Damn, I feel good! Simon - Atrocious! Horrible! And the bad news is... you really Suck. Next up, Carrie Randy - You were stiff, but the vocals were incredible... If you showed just a bit more cleavage, I'd give this to you right now. Paula - Uhhhhhhh... where am I ? And Why do I just sit here clapping like a seal? The colors! Simon - You are going to win this if I have to hire a million people to repeatedly call your number for the full two hours. Next, Bo Randy - About time somebody comes out and shows the others what it means to be an American Idol. You did yer thing dawg! Paula - Bo... are you sure you quit the drugs after the conviction? I sure could use a bump right about now. Simon - That was great, but you can't beat Carrie... She's so damn cute. And Last but not least, Scott Randy - Dawg... I can't understand why you are still here... Sometimes I wonder about America... Can somebody get Paula to stop licking my ankles? Paula - Simon - The Vote For The Worst people are making a mockery out of me... I just don't get it... Judging your performance, I'd tell you to pack your bags... But I have a feeling you won't even see the bottom three tonight. Ryan - And there you have it folks, your top 5. Please call and vote for your favorite, unless your favorite is Scott... you've had your little fun, but we won't get another season if ya'll are successful with this. Please.... keep me employed! Please! I need this job! And remember... Do not watch ABC's trashy hit peice on us.... It's not true, no matter what they say. Seacrest out!