Monday, July 18, 2005

Fun with spam part II

Another installment of fun with spam - First a side note.... I decided to research spam a little and came across the SPAM™ website. They do not have a problem with junk e-mail being called spam, but they say that if you are refering to the e-mail variety that you should NOT capitalize the word. You learn something new every day! Anyway, here are a few gems from my inbox... Is this your contact information No dumbass... you sent me an e-mail at somebody else's e-mail address! What kind of a question is that? Your Attention Is Needed. OK... You have it... Now what? Hey. We Owe You Some Money Now we're talking! But why have I gotten this e-mail from so many different strange e-mail addresses? I think I'll just have to let you keep my money if getting it involves actually openeing your e-mail! Really WWorks Good WWorks Good I hope it wworks better than you spell! Re: Or complain by harmony sybaritic Huh? I spent many valuable seconds trying to decifer just what in the Hell they are trying to tell me here. I just don't get it! Bay cigarettes at home and save I bet you landlocked smokers are pissed about this one... If you have Bay cigarettes at home, you save! This is our f.i.n.a.l o.f.f.e.r syw I still d.o.n.'t. c.a.r.e! But I am grateful that you won't be clogging my inbox with your dribble anymore. This is better cornish Thank God! I have been trying to find better cornish for so long! Where on earth did you find it? Platinum St0ck Report Watch This Emerging Growth St0ck NEW ST0CK:Emerging Growth St0ck Profile NEW:Flying Under The Radar With Stealth St0cks Market Wizard Stoxs Could this Stox be Undervalued? OK... I don't know about anybody else, but I expect the folks who give me stock advice to at least be able to spell the word stock. Maybe I'm just funny that way..... Only Cailis Help sxoNxF I better st0ck up on Cailis! My snoNxF has been acting up lately! Hasn't yours? Last longer in bed I do already... I hit snooze when the alarm goes off! 6 times increase in your cum Ummmmmm.... As if the teaspoon isn't enough.... talk about making a person gag! I still don't get the e-mails with the random word generated at the end.... Bone and joint pain is difficult. Let us help you cope. brunswick Download the app or have it shipped, your choice. delegate Are you interested in a good time? Fuck someone tonight right here.,..abuilding Brunswick? Don't they make pool tables? At least the second one there made some sense.... it's your choice. Delegate! But I don't think I'll be taking them up on the screwing abuilding offer though! NNot Another Bad Offr Thank God! I've had all the bad offrs I can handle. Meet easy girls Looking for a date with a naughty girl or guy Want to find some hot action? Fuck buddys are available and waiting now....venial Has anybody met the person of their dreams through badly written e-mail offers? Has anybody even met easy girls this way? I think I am going to have to pass..... Re: The work or octogenarian outside HUH??????? WTF is that supposed to mean? You made it YEAH!!! I made it! Ummmmm... What is it? And now that I've made it.... What do I do with it? Extra Time - Last 5-10 times longer Wow... I've been wondering how to get everything done in the little bit of time I have now.... These guys must have some super-machine that'll actually let you warp the space-time continuum to incredibly make.... ehhhh... screw it! SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT: Hardbody Men Selling Meat & Potatoes guppyman! This is disturbing on so many levels..... #1 I like meat & potatos, but I don't think I want to buy them from hardbody men. #2 They personalised this e-mail just for me.... #3 Since when has meat & potatos become something that is sexually explicit??? Say bye to stomach and thighs The gut has to go WeGot the DroppingPoundsPills Bye stomach and thighs! Bye gut! The magic DroppingPoundsPills are here! Yippeeeee! And finally- Your Reliable Source for Prescription Drugs Without Prescription The last time I checked, we have a few of these guys who like to hang out on the corner in bad neighborhoods.... It's good to see that dealers have discovered the Internet.... but I think I may have to pass. Anyway... That's a trip thru the last week worth of spam... There was a lot more, but each just seems to get more pathetic than the one before it. And besides... how many fake rolexes do these people think I need? I'm convinced that these people think I am a round, tiny-dicked guy who is so ugly I can't get laid without their help... I need to fool people into thinking I have lots of money with my impressive portfolio of stox and my fake watches... And that I am stupid enough to believe that I've won just about every lottery on the planet (even though I fotrgot to buy a ticket). When will they learn? Thank God for my delete key!

10 comments:

Beanhead said...

Man do I ever love my spam blocker!! BTW PTA conference rocks...;)

Tammy said...

Thanks for the giggle! I hate spam...but comment/trackback spam is even more annoying than email spam!

Redhead Mommy said...

ha! a good laugh....i don't get much of those anymore...but thanks for sharing!

Ivy said...

oh yeah gotta love the ones that tell me,
PLeaSe Yur Woman..

hmm if I had a woman I wouldnt rely on their advice to PLeaSe hur

Pikkel Weezel said...

Well this would explain why I never get those products I buy and that whole identity theft thing I've been dealing with. Thanks alot, your timing stinks! I've been replying to these things for a year,,, who knew?

Carl V. said...

This just cracked me up! Thanks for the early morning laugh. Thanks for visiting my site and, somewhat indirectly, Michele sent me!

Bridget Unnel said...

And let's not forget the ones that promise to make my hard cock last longer. Where'd they get the impression I live on a farm anyway? No chickens, roosters, or cocks in this hen house...

Garnet said...

ROTFL!!! This is priceless! I don't want no fake rolexes either! RAWR!

Texas_Ivy10 said...

Looks like the same shit I get in my inbox daily. Thank God for f'n spam filters.... goes into it's own folder and never have to deal with it.

Star said...

THat was a funny take in the everyday! Thanks.